Communication Boundaries
Sometimes we think we’ve clearly delivered a message when in fact we haven’t. So make sure you’ve presented the message that the relationship is over, and make sure there’s no ambiguity about the issue. If you truly don’t want this person in your life anymore, make sure that what you say and how you respond to his or her intrusions make it perfectly clear that there really is no “us” for you two anymore. If you’re uncomfortable telling them in person (although this is the best way to go) a letter allows you to be explicitly clear as well.

Physical Boundaries
Put space physical space in between the two of you. Although not always possible based on the circumstances of your relationship – maybe you work together or share the same friends, but as much as possible, remove the opportunity to see each other. This sends a clear message that things are over. It’s also a good opportunity for you to try new things or reconnect with old friends.

Behavioral Boundaries
Sometimes an ex will intentionally push your buttons in an attempt to get you to interact with them. Although tempting, don’t cave. Take the high-road and be mature. The more you refrain from playing their games, the quicker they’ll get the message that you’re no longer interested in interacting with them.

Internal Boundaries
Setting internal boundaries is just as important as setting and sticking to external ones. A good internal boundary to observe has to do with new relationships. Do your best to start fresh and give new opportunities their full attention. Promise yourself that when you go on dates with new people, you won’t talk about your ex and rehash the problems that person is causing in your life. Draw a firm boundary that prevents your ex from being a part of the conversations and interactions you have with new people.

Protective Boundaries
Let’s be real: There may come a time (although we certainly hope you never have to deal with this) when you have to get serious about your ex’s infringement on your life. If intrusions become more than a mere nuisance and begin to get a little scary, be sure to talk to friends and watch for little ways you can protect yourself. And if it becomes necessary, be willing to set up some legal boundaries as well. Don’t hold back when it comes to taking care of yourself and doing what you have to do to keep yourself safe. Plus, there’s nothing like a legal boundary to make the message that things are over crystal clear.

Heading to events is a natural way to find new connections for your social and dating life, but leveraging the virtual space within your updated zip code is just as important. After all, in a world where we spend countless hours on Facebook each day and line up outside of Apple stores’ doors in anticipation of the next iPad release, your lifestyle should incorporate the digital world you’ve built.

Whether you’re moving from the ‘burbs or another urban area, below are three action items to add to your checklist for dating in a new city.

• Flaunt your newbie status. The first thing you should do is change your zip code in your online dating profile. But take it a step further and mention you’re new to the area, too. This will inspire seasoned city vets to take you under their wing and show you around your new backyard.
• Keep it social. Reach out to your friends in the area and announce your move on Facebook. Others in your social network will want to hook you up with introductions to friends in your ‘hood.
• Add locales. Revise your About Me section to include nearby haunts you’re hoping to explore. Whether it’s an outdoor sanctuary, tourist trap, or fine dining restaurant, being specific in your profile always encourages conversation. Sharing an experience on dates will enhance your time together.

But above all, it’s important to remember that love doesn’t happen overnight. It’s unlikely that you’ll meet your BFF or BF/GF before your stamp collection beanie babies belongings are out of their cardboard boxes. You can’t go wrong if you keep fun at the top of your to-do list.

With this year’s release of the iPad-2 and the new iPhone-4s, I can tell you first hand, that the Apple store is buzzing with fun, smart, and digital-savvy singles. You should head over there now, even if to only check your email.

While standing in long lines to purchase your new device or waiting for your Genius Bar appointment, you can connect with other Apple enthusiasts you can see in-real-life. Notice that they’re switching from a BlackBerry to an iPhone? Go and ask him or her why. Not sure how your new iPad works? Ask him or her how they like theirs. Remember to check in on FourSquare, Facebook Places, or other location-based networks as soon as you arrive, just in case your digital crush may be in the vicinity.

After you’ve purchased your new device, it can be overwhelming. Sign up for a one-to-one private lesson, where you’ll be seated at a table with 3-others. It’s your perfect chance to smile, flirt and ask questions of your new Apple friend when your lesson is over.

Group classes are also available at many of the Apple stores, so all you need to do is sign up and show up.

Chances are, there’s a Starbucks, PinkBerry or other watering hole in close proximity to the Apple store. You won’t have to get into your car to extend your time with the object of your new affection, or the Apple of your eye.

You may walk out of the store with a new friend, a date, or in Hollywood perhaps even an agent. With free Wi-Fi service, it’s easy to check your email while someone else may be checking you out. Dress as if you were going on a date, make eye contact, and be open to the possibilities.

There are 10 Apple stores in the Los Angeles area, including Third Street Promenade, The Grove, Century City, Manhattan Beach Village, Los Cerritos, Sherman Oaks, Beverly Center, Glendale Galleria, and in Pasadena.To find Apple stores near you visit: Apple.com/retail/locator

Why not cast a wide net with your device as your Wingman?

Your Mom Was Right Again
Don’t you hate when that happens? But yes, your Mom has struck gold again. Single guys are just looking for real girls, the ones that are comfortable being themselves. They don’t want someone who bends the truth or tries to be someone they’re not. They especially don’t want someone who plays games. So the next time you’re out trolling for men, be yourself and be comfortable in your own skin. You might not have every guy fawning all over you, but the right guy will certainly take notice.

Listen to Destiny’s Child
So Bootylicious may not be their most prophetic hit, but Independent Women sure struck a chord with single guys. By being strong, independent, and fully in love with your own fabulous single gal life, you’re that much more likely to attract the single guy who just might be right for you.

It’s okay for you to make the first move
The rules that applied to dating in 7th grade are no longer valid when you’re an adult. It’s ok for you to tell a guy you like him first, or heck, even buy him a drink before he buys you one. In fact, a lot of guys report that they like it when a girl makes the first move. It lets them know she’s interested and they see the confidence as sexy. But a word of caution — if you make the first move, don’t make the second, third, and fourth too. Guys want and need to be part of the delicate dating chase. If you do all the work, they’ll just stop chasing, plus, it probably means they weren’t that interested after all.

Let’s Get Physical…or maybe not
One very crucial thing to know about some single guys is that sex and intimacy can be two very different things. And here’s where dating can get tricky. Typically, women equate sex with intimacy and emotion. It’s hormonal, even biological. If we’re getting physical with someone, we’re at least thinking about having a relationship with him. Like it or not, it’s often different for guys. Sex can be perceived as more recreational, like a hobby or sport. Sleeping with someone doesn’t necessarily mean they’re looking to get serious with her. So, if you’re thinking about taking your relationship to the next level, you might want to have a conversation first to make sure your intentions and his are clearly stated. Then you can decide for yourself if you’re ready.

He’s not thinking about the ring
Ok, breathe. It’s ok. This is NOT bad news. In fact, you can use this information for good! The sooner you understand that most guys are not on the prowl for a wife, the easier it will be for you to relate to your date. Admit it: You’ve spent first dates secretly wondering what your children will look like or what color your bridesmaid’s dresses will be. Men, on the other hand, go on a first date to have a good time and ultimately decide if they want a second date with you. It’s as simple as that.

And, although we hate to admit it, maybe the guys are on to something. By approaching dating with the attitude that they just want to have fun and meet cool people, men are playing the field with a healthy dating attitude. Plus, when they find someone worth committing to, their mindset will change.

Commitment is not a four-letter word
Ladies, here’s the deal. When the right girl comes along, most single men are comfortable committing. However, they’re going to take their time and really get to know someone before they even consider seriously committing or even the M-word. Take a page from their dating playbook and just have fun dating and relating! That way, when you do meet someone truly special, you’ll not only know he’s The One, but you’ll be ready, willing, and able to commit because you’ve successfully played the field.

So there you have it, ladies. Insight straight from the source — the mind of the single guy. May these tips help you enjoy dating a bit more and snag the guy of your dreams!

1. Brian’s Song (1971)
This Emmy-winning movie of the week focuses on Chicago Bears running back Gale Sayers (Billy Dee Williams) and his friendship with fullback Brian Piccolo (James Caan). Coach George Halas (Jack Warden) encourages Piccolo to be Sayers’ roommate during the season — the first white-black pairing of its kind in all of professional sports. When Piccolo becomes sick with cancer, Sayers stands by his pal. The perfect combination of sports and emotion.

2. Rudy (1993)
In this fact-based drama about the triumph of the human spirit, scrawny high school student Rudy Ruettiger (Sean Astin) dreams of playing football at Notre Dame. But his father (Ned Beatty) can’t afford to send him, and his mediocre grades don’t cut it, so he ends up at a college across the street instead. Unphased, Rudy eventually transfers to Notre Dame, where he begins assisting the groundskeeper (Charles S. Dutton) and joins the practice squad. Hand your guy a tissue and grab one yourself when Rudy finally gets in the game.

3. Saving Private Ryan (1998)
As U.S. troops storm the beaches of Normandy, three brothers lie dead on the battlefield, with a fourth trapped behind enemy lines. Ranger captain Tom Hanks and seven men are tasked with penetrating German-held territory and bringing the boy home. Steven Spielberg and cinematographer Janusz Kaminski paint a harrowing picture of the price of war and heroism — one that netted them Oscars for Best Director and Best Cinematography, respectively.

4. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975)
The first movie since It Happened One Night to win all five major Oscar’s, Cuckoo’s Nest still has the ability to entertain and inspire. The relentless instigator Randle Patrick McMurphy (Jack Nicholson) is committed to an asylum and inspires his fellow patients to rebel against the authoritarian rule of head nurse Mildred Ratched (Louise Fletcher).

5. The Natural (1984)
A bat made from a tree struck by lightning and a passion for baseball define Roy Hobbs (Robert Redford). But when he’s shot and severely wounded, his career is put in jeopardy. Years later, Hobbs tries out for a struggling team. Your guys’ eyes will be filled with tears when Hobbs steps to the plate and hits a home run in this mythic film that’s as epic as America’s national pastime.

6. Shawshank Redemption (1994)
Upstanding banker Andy Dufresne (Tim Robbins) is framed for a double murder in the 1940s and begins a life sentence at the Shawshank prison, where he’s befriended by long-time inmate named Red (Morgan Freeman). During his long stretch in prison, Dufresne comes to be admired by the other inmates for his upstanding moral code and unquenchable sense of hope. Plus, the relationship between Andy and Red, culminating in the closing scene is sure to warm anyone’s heart.

7. Schindler’s List (1993)
Steven Spielberg’s Holocaust epic won seven Academy Awards and is an unforgettable testament to the possibility of human goodness. Greedy factory owner Oskar Schindler (Liam Neeson) was exploiting cheap Jewish labor, but in the midst of WWII became an unlikely humanitarian, losing his fortune by helping to save 1,100 Jews from Auschwitz.

8. The King’s Speech (2010)
What happens when one of the most powerful men in the world can barely speak? In this true-story, England’s King George VI (Colin Firth) struggles with an embarrassing stutter until he seeks help from an unusual Australian speech therapist Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush). Logue’s pioneering treatment and unlikely friendship give the King confidence that serves him and his country well during the dark days of World War II. We dare you not to cry during the final speech.

9. The Pride of the Yankees (1942)
This is one of the greatest American stories about one of the greatest American heroes: baseball phenomenon Lou Gehrig. The film follows the Iron Horse (Gary Cooper) from childhood to his later glory on the diamond. Gehrig embodied the American ethic of humility and hard work, playing in 2,130 consecutive games until he was forced to retire because of the disease that now bears his name.

10. Terms of Endearment (1983)
Many describe this as a chick flick, but even men are not susceptible to this emotional story. Director James L. Brooks seamlessly tells the story of a mother and daughter whose lives are changed by the men they love and their abiding love for each other. Terms of Endearment won five Academy Awards: Best Picture, Best Actress (MacLaine), Best Supporting Actor (Jack Nicholson), Best Director and Best Screenplay.

11. The Iron Giant (1999)
In rustic 1957 Maine, 9-year-old Hogarth finds a colossal but disoriented robot and the two form a strong bond of friendship. Before long, however, a government agent is on their trail — and he’s intent on destroying the robot. This beautifully animated story based on British poet Ted Hughes’ short story features the voices of Jennifer Aniston, Vin Diesel, Harry Connick Jr. and Cloris Leachman.

12. Philadelphia (1993)
When attorney Andrew Beckett (Tom Hanks) reveals his HIV-positive status — and his homosexuality — to his co-workers, he soon finds himself unemployed. Determined to sue for wrongful termination, Hanks is forced to work with the only lawyer who’ll take his case: ambulance-chasing, homophobic Joe Miller (Denzel Washington). Let the tears ensue.

13. Big Fish (2003)
William Bloom (Billy Crudup) tries to learn more about his dying father, Edward (Albert Finney), by piecing together the facts out of the various fantastic tales and legends of epic proportions he’s been told over the years. Edward was a traveling salesman, and his journeys throughout the South are the seed of the tales. Directed by Tim Burton, the movie co-stars Ewan McGregor (as the young Edward), Helena Bonham-Carter and Steve Buscemi.

14. Million Dollar Baby (2004)
This multiple Oscar winner follows a determined young athlete who, through her sheer determination, awakens a long-lost fire within two aging boxers. Despondent over a painful estrangement from his daughter, trainer Frankie Dunn (Clint Eastwood) isn’t prepared for boxer Maggie Fitzgerald (Hilary Swank) to enter his life. Maggie’s determined to go pro, and she eventually convinces Dunn and his cohort (Morgan Freeman) to help her get to the top. If you’re not brought to tears by this film, you may want to get your heart checked.

15. Life is Beautiful (1997)
In this poignant tragicomedy, a clever Jewish-Italian waiter named Guido (Roberto Benigni, who won an Oscar for his role) is sent to a Nazi concentration camp during World War II, along with his wife (Nicoletta Braschi) and their young son (Giorgio Cantarini). Refusing to give up hope, Guido tries to protect his son’s innocence by pretending that their imprisonment is an elaborate game, with the grand prize being a tank.

16. Love Actually (2003)
An ensemble comedy that tells 10 separate (but intertwining) London love stories, leading to a big climax on Christmas Eve. One of the threads follows the brand-new, unmarried Prime Minister (Hugh Grant), who, on his first day on the job, falls in love with the girl (Martine McCutcheon) who brings him his tea. Denise Richards, Alan Rickman, Keira Knightley and Rowan Atkinson co-star.

17. Rocky (1976)
Gritty, grim and epic, Rocky is the real deal, a crowd pleaser with a less-than-storybook ending. When Muhammad Ali-esque boxing champ Carl Weathers wants to give a nobody a shot at the title as a publicity stunt, his handlers pick palooka Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone). Rocky won the 1976 Best Picture Oscar thanks to John Avildsen’s solid direction and Stallone’s root-for-the-underdog script.

18. The Pianist (2002)
Famed Polish concert pianist Wladyslaw Szpilman (Adrien Brody, who won an Oscar for the role) struggles to survive the onslaught of Nazi tyranny during World War II in this autobiographical film. Already lauded at the time for his talents as a musician, Szpilman spent those years holed up in Warsaw, subsisting on scraps of food and barely able to stay alive. Grace comes in the form of a second chance — at music, at freedom, at life.

19. Mystic River (2003)
Three childhood friends, Sean (Kevin Bacon), Dave (Tim Robbins) and Jimmy (Sean Penn) are reunited in Boston 25 years later when they are linked together in the murder investigation of Jimmy’s daughter. This taut thriller from director Clint Eastwood won two acting Oscars (for Robbins and Penn) and was nominated for several more in its exploration of human behavior when faced with pain just beneath the surface, justified rage and scars that never heal.

20. To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
Southern comforts abound in this classic adaptation of Harper Lee’s Pulitzer Prize-winning novel. Gregory Peck won an Oscar for his role as Atticus Finch, a widowed lawyer who takes on the task of defending an innocent black man (Brock Peters) against rape charges, only to wind up in a maelstrom of hate and prejudice that threatens to invade the lives of his children, Jem and Scout (Phillip Alford and Mary Badham).

Guys or not, we want to know what movies make you cry.

Visit the Flea Market
Nothing is more romantic than rummaging through other people’s used things. But in all seriousness, flea markets are a great date spot. Hidden treasures are around every corner, providing endless hours of conversation. As a bonus, they’re typically great for people watching too. Be sure to wear comfy shoes though, as nothing kills the mood like a blister.

Visit a Local Brewery
Unlike wine-tasting, breweries are usually free to tour, and have lots of different steps in the beer-making process that are interesting to watch. Of course, the tours usually end with a beer tasting, but that’s just the icing on the cake! For a list of breweries in the U.S., visit here.

In a Galaxy Far Far Away…
On a clear night, nothing is more impressive than a sky full of stars. Impress your date with your constellation knowledge (you may want to pull out your high school text books to brush up), like identifying the Big Dipper, North Star, or Orion. All you need is a blanket or some chairs and your date is complete! If you live too close to the big city to get away from all that light pollution, this can be a great excuse to get out of town for the evening, take a mini-road trip, or go camping. To get a glimpse of the constellations you can see from where you live, so you’ll know what to look for, simply enter your zip code here.

Catch a Game
We know what you’re thinking, tickets to your favorite professional sports team are NOT cheap. Well, who said anything about professionals? Check out the local community college’s schedule or revisit your High School days and catch a Friday night football game. Entry is usually minimal and it’s more fun to cheer for athletes who play for the love of the game and not just for the love of money.

Take a Walking Tour
Nearly every city has a historic district or cluster of landmarks just waiting to be explored. Do a little research ahead of time so you know what to look for, or find a walking tour (which are usually free) and let someone else be the expert. Simply get in touch with your local historical society online, book a reservation and then you and your date can spend a whole day strolling through beautiful architecture and learning more about the city. It’s a great way to spark conversation and find interesting ways to connect.

Who Let the Dogs Out?
Dog people love their dogs. And if you’re in love with a dog person, you better love dogs too! Show your affection by bringing Fido along to the local dog park. It’s a perfect way to enjoy the outdoors, get to know each other better, and prove to your date that you think their pooch is just as adorable as they do. Bonus points if you scoop the poop too!

Work Up a Sweat
Getting outside and being active is a great date activity. Whether it’s going for a morning run, teaching your date how to surf, or playing P-I-G in the driveway, exercise can’t go wrong. Plus, if you give the date a little competitive edge, it opens up a whole new world of flirting. Just remember to give your date the heads up on what to expect. You wouldn’t want to pick them up dressed to the nines, only to go hit the tennis court.

What are your favorite low-cost, high-fun dates? Got a few tips of your own? Share your thoughts below!

Weigh the Pros and Cons

Obviously, if you feel that your age or any other superficial factor is knocking you out of the dating game, the temptation to fix the numbers will be strong. On the pro side, by skipping a few birthdays, taking a few pounds off your weight, or adding to your income, you may just find yourself back in the game. You might attract new and wanted attention. However, on the con side, you’ve just lied to a perfect stranger. Now what? Say you do hit it off, won’t it be awkward when you have to tell them the truth?

Put yourself in the Other Person’s Shoes

Before you change your age, income, body type, or whatever on your online dating profile to try to make yourself more appealing, ask yourself this: How would you feel if someone did the same thing to you? Subtracting a few pounds from your weight may seem harmless enough, but it’s a slippery slope. If you’re misrepresenting yourself about one thing, where do you stop? Dating is challenging enough when both people are completely honest with one another. Why add another layer of complexity to it by starting off on the wrong foot?

Ask Yourself: What’s Really Keeping Me Single?

Here’s something else to think about: Is it your age, weight, or maybe your state of mind that’s keeping you single? There’s no such thing as being the wrong age, weight, or income level to be single, interesting, and available. However, it’s all in your mindset. Are you living your life to the fullest and enjoying it? If the answer is no, you may want to focus on adjusting your attitude. Focus on loving your life and yourself first and others are bound to take notice.

Reevaluate your Situation

If you really believe that something superficial is taking you out of the dating game, rather than lie about your age, weight, or other trait, it’s time to take matters into your own hands. Treat yourself to a new item of clothing or two. Join a gym or walk more places to improve your fitness. Try out a different hairstyle. Little things can make the world of difference and mixing it up is never bad.

At the end of the day, it’s not about how young/thin/rich you are or pretend to be, but how you feel about yourself and your life. If you love you, someone else will love you too.

It’s Not All About You
A conversation, by definition, involves at least two people. Otherwise, you’re just talking to yourself like a crazy person. And that’s exactly what your date will think if you talk the entire time! Dominating the conversation is a major no-no when you’re trying to get to know someone. Now we know you’re trying to “sell” yourself and make a good impression, but you’re actually doing the opposite. Reciprocate questions after you’ve answered them, but most importantly, listen when your date is talking. Nothing is sexier than someone who is a good listener.

Don’t “Over-share”
At least not on the first date. Being open and vulnerable is attractive, but not within the first five minutes. Remember, you’ve basically just met this person. Now is not the time to tell them you wet the bed until you were 13 or that you felt unloved as a child. Be especially careful about talking about past romantic relationships. One of the quickest ways to blow a first date is to talk a lot about your ex. This isn’t to say that deeper sharing shouldn’t happen early in a relationship. By all means, if the conversation goes in that direction and you receive cues that your date is receptive and is inviting more openness from you, then be willing to divulge more. Sharing something meaningful that you have in common is great; purging your own issues is not.

Just Like Your Mom Said, “Be Yourself”
If you try too hard to impress your date, they’re going to notice and more than likely, an eye roll will follow. Bragging is never going to win over another person, even if what you’re bragging about is true, and it can cause more trouble if it’s not. Instead, try to be authentic. Again, you don’t have to over-share and expose all your dirty laundry right away. But let the real you come out, and trust that if things are meant to work out between you and your date, they will.

Don’t Propose
More than likely, you’re not going to ask your date to marry you after one dinner, but sometimes we can make people feel like we’re thinking so much about the future and developing a serious relationship that we freak them out. While it may be your ultimate goal to find “the one,” save that conversation for somewhere down the line. Even someone who’s open to the idea of settling down might be scared off by a person who, within the first half hour of the date, mentions a ticking biological clock.

Don’t Ignore Cues
Cues, whether verbal or nonverbal, are your clues to a successful date. They can direct everything from how much you should talk, to what to talk about, or most importantly, whether a kiss is awaiting you at the end of the night. If you follow the cues, you’ll likely avoid any potential awkwardness later on.

What are your secrets to a successful date? What should you do and what should you avoid?

Someone Like You – Adele
Her voice alone has been known to bring people to tears (in a good way), but it’s hard not to relate to lyrics like “I heard that your dreams came true, guess she gave you things I didn’t give to you.” Although the perfect song to make you crawl in to the fetal position and rock yourself to sleep, it’s also great for moving on. May the words of the chorus get stuck in your head, “Never mind I’ll find someone like you, I wish nothing but the best for you.”

Drown in My Own Tears—Ray Charles
With a title like that, Ray wasn’t fooling anyone with what kind of song they’d be hearing. Like any good blues tune, it evokes a powerful (and depressing) image of the heartbroken literally drowning in misery. Aretha Franklin and Etta James are among the many artists who have recorded versions of this classic song that will have some listeners crying “just like a child.” Get out the Kleenex.

T-Shirt – Shontelle
We’ve all been there. The breakup has gone down, but we’re not OK with it. We cling to anything that reminds us of the other person. In this song, it’s a t-shirt. As the lovely Shontelle sings, “Nothing feels right when I’m not with you” we nod our heads in agreement and then look down to realize we too have “Nothing but your t-shirt on.” Sob.

I Will Always Love You—Dolly Parton
Written and released by Dolly Parton in 1974 and turned into a mega-hit by Whitney Houston in 1992, “I Will Always Love You” is the ultimate breakup ballad. Listeners can take comfort in the song’s I’ll-step-aside-with-grace sentiment and also in the fact that the tune was inspired by Dolly’s own broken heart. Under all the glitz and glamor, she’s just a girl with a broken heart too.

Don’t Speak—No Doubt
Can you say awkward? Inspired by their real life breakup, Gwen Stefani and band mate Tony Kanal had to perform this song over and over and over again on tour. Yikes. Hopefully you can just sing the lyrics in your bedroom alone, instead of in front of thousands of people with your ex backing you up on the bass.

Ain’t No Sunshine—Bill Withers
Whether you think this is a song about an unstable relationship or a man’s obsession with a woman, the heartache expressed in Bill Withers’ “Ain’t No Sunshine” is palpable. We can all relate to the fact that he knows (and knows and knows) the relationship is wrong but he just can’t walk away.

Slow Dancing in a Burning Room—John Mayer
Have you ever known the relationship was over long before it actually was? With agonizing lyrics like, “We’re going down and you know that we’re doomed. My dear, we’re slow dancing in a burning room,” Mayer paints the perfect picture of a relationship about to end. Ouch.

Yesterday—The Beatles
A classic tear-jerker, “Yesterday” by the Beatles will continue to ring true for the recently dumped for decades to come. With lyrics full of self-doubt like, “I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday,” many will want to put this song on repeat and ask themselves what they could have done differently. Maybe you’ll find the answer tomorrow.

Walkin’ After Midnight—Patsy Cline
Ever experience a breakup so terrible that you had to do something—anything—to keep your mind off of it? That’s precisely what Cline is singing about in “Walkin’ After Midnight.” From her lyrics, we get the feeling that Patsy has not only a bad bout of the blues, but also a severe case of insomnia, and maybe a tiny dose of the crazies.

Since U Been Gone – Kelly Clarkson
Congratulations, you’ve transitioned into the angry stage. Kelly Clarkson’s “Since U Been Gone” provides the perfect pop/rock anthem for this phase. With powerful lyrics like, “I can breathe for the first time/I’m so moving on,” you’ll be fully recovered and on to the next relationship in no time!

With all of the break songs out there, we know we’ve just scratched the surface. What songs get you through a breakup?

1) Scour Facebook: Remember that girl in your algebra class in 7th grade who was always really nice, but you never actually hung out? Turns out she lives in your neighborhood! Send her a message and see if she’d like to grab lunch or a drink. Whether or not she becomes your best friend, it’s great to have a small dose of home and someone who can show you the ropes a bit.

2) Find a Group: Whether you love to play volleyball or are looking for someone to watch the game with, there’s a group for that. Check out sites like MeetUp or aggressively Google. Although you might feel a bit out of your comfort zone, get over it. Would you rather be lonely or feel awkward for 5 minutes until you make some great connections?

3) Get to know the City: LA has a bad reputation for being a lonely town. I heard it said once that people don’t move to LA to make friends, they move to make connections. While this can be true, Los Angeles has a ton to offer, just like every city does. You’re new to the city and the city’s new to you. Get to know each other by exploring, getting lost, and finding what you like. Once you feel comfortable in town, you’ll feel more comfortable making friends.

4) Join Something: My first month in LA, I volunteered for the AIDS Walk. Though I wasn’t too excited about getting up at 4am, I was excited to meet new people. Whether you volunteer or even join a gym, feeling a part of something is a great first step to putting down roots.

Although it’s not a guaranteed recipe for success, these steps can help make things easier when you’re new in town. What worked for you when you moved or started over?

The One-Upper
Ugh, the one-upper. You got a new shirt. She got a new outfit. You went on a one-week vacation to the lake. She went on a two-week safari in Africa. No matter what you say, she always has something better. One-Uppers love to make others feel inferior, most likely to cover up their own insecurities. They’re fearful of being perceived as weak or insignificant, so they overcompensate by being insufferable. The best way to combat a One-Upper is to not play the game. Trying to one-up a One-Upper is impossible. It’s a never ending loop and the next thing you know you’re making wild claims about your month long excursion to the moon. The next time you share an accomplishment only to get one-upped, just end the conversation and walk away. After a few abrupt finishes, he or she will hopefully get the hint.

The Joneses
The Joneses have it all. The bigger house, the nicer clothes, the better job. Hey, there’s a reason we want to keep up with them.
Whether Mr. and Ms. Jones are waving their fabulous lifestyles in your face or you just feel unworthy based on your own insecurities, it’s best to avoid this kind of envy before it makes you broke, or worse, crazy. The happiest people think in terms of what they do have rather than focusing on what they don’t. If you also have a nice family, a loving partner, good friends, and are in good health, you should consider yourself extremely lucky. And remember, the Joneses may appear perfectly happy and content on the outside, but who knows what goes on behind closed doors.

Mr. or Ms. Me Me Me
We’ve all met one, and usually, they’re the worst. Most of their sentences begin with “I” and their conversations are entirely one-sided. Forget them asking how your day is going or how you’re feeling. It’s just not going to happen. However, on the rare occasion that you really like the person and think that they are simply oblivious, try talking to them about it. They may just be a poor conversationalist. Say something like, “You may not mean to do this, but you never ask how my day is going and that bothers me.” However, more than likely the person is really self-absorbed and should be avoided if you’re looking for any type of meaningful relationship.

The Gossip
“OMG, did you hear about so-and-so? Well I heard that he got fired because…” Sound familiar? It’s The Gossip talking. The Gossip is a tough one to avoid because he or she is usually fun, personable and has something interesting to say. Unfortunately, engaging The Gossip is a bad idea. Why? Because gossip is hurtful to others in almost every situation.Hey, to gossip is to be human. But if it’s at work or among a tight network of friends, avoid associating with The Gossip at all costs. And remember, if the Gossip is talking about everyone, they’re probably talking about you too.

The Drama Queen
Drama makes for good entertainment and that’s exactly what the Drama Queen is seeking out of life—to put on a good show and be the center of attention. He or she makes a big production of small things to attract attention. However, it gets real old real fast. While the Drama Queen may provide temporary amusement, the roller coaster of emotion isn’t really worth all of the fuss. When everything is “Oh my gosh!” and “You’ll never believe this!” the stuff that really matters in life gets lost. It’s a constant “Boy who cried wolf” situation with the Drama Queen. Similar to Mr. or Ms. Me Me Me, the Drama Queen is usually self-absorbed and really only moved by his or her own stuff.

Did we get it right? Or are there other personality types you avoid?

Sign #1: You’re not Happy
This seems kind of obvious, but you’d be surprised how many people overlook it. When you’re with the right person, you should consistently enjoy the relationship and overall, feel happy. With that said, of course every couple argues or gets upset, but the majority of the time, they enjoy one another and their relationship. So if you find yourself unhappy most of the time – and especially when you’re with your partner – then that’s a definite red flag that this may not be the right person for you.

Sign #2: You Don’t Feel Good about Yourself
In addition to feeling happy, a person in a good relationship usually has a positive self esteem. Sure, they will have doubts and insecurities like everyone does, and they may even deal with some bigger questions about themselves. But when they’re with their partner, they feel better about themselves, not worse In contrast, if your partner exacerbates your self doubts and undermines your confidence, then that’s a glaring sign that this is not a good person for you to be in a relationship with. Everyone deserves to be with someone who lifts them up, instead of bringing them down.

Sign #3: The People you Trust Urge you to Get Out
It’s a good sign when the people you love and trust encourage your relationship. That means they think you’ve made a good choice. It’s a terrible sign when those same people start to discourage your relationship. Typically, if the new partner of a friend or family member is just OK, most people tend to say little. The person seems harmless enough and they hope the relationship will fizzle naturally. Now, if your confidantes start openly discouraging your relationship, that’s a bad sign. Usually people only intervene when they’re worried about you and your choices. As these are people you love and trust, you should listen to their advice.

Sign #4: You Have Someone Else on the Brain
It’s not always the case that a person isn’t right for you because of who they are or a character flaw. Sometimes, the issue is that they’re not someone else. If you are dating one person but secretly wishing you were with somebody else, then that’s a problem. It could be that it’s an ex you’re still carrying a torch for. Or maybe it’s someone else in your life you wish you could be with. Regardless, if you are constantly (or even frequently) wishing you were dating a different person, then that’s a sure-fire sign that your current relationship is not right.

Sign #5: You Find yourself Denying Facts you know to be True
Denial is a very powerful thing. Maybe your issue is that you don’t want to accept something negative about the person you’re dating, or you’re scared of being alone. Whatever the actual issue, if you are working hard to deny facts about your relationship that you know to be true, then you are probably dating the wrong person.

Sign #6: The Cons of Staying Together Outweigh the Pros
It never hurts to make a list of Pros and Cons. It can often shed light onto a particularly difficult situation. Make a list and compare the two. If the Cons of staying together outweigh the Pros, then it’s clear you’re dating the wrong person.

Sign #7: Your Instincts are Saying get Out
No, the voices inside your head don’t make you crazy. In fact, they may be your best ally. Sometimes your inner voice is reassuring and calming, but when you’re in a toxic relationship, they’re usually screaming. Listen carefully to your inner voice and follow your instinct.

Sign #8: You Already Know the Truth
Maybe you really don’t know whether you are dating the wrong person. If so, then you may want to continue the relationship for a while longer so you two can explore whether you should be together. Relationships often take time to achieve their full potential. But, you may discover that you are dating the wrong person. If so, then you need to be brave enough to do what you need to do, and end the relationship.
Find someone who treats you the way you want to be treated. Who’d your advocate, your cheerleader, your support system. And remember, every failed relationship is a stepping stone to finding the relationship you’re looking for.

Don’t Hold Back – Do you remember that gut-wrenching feeling the time you climbed the top of your first roller coaster and were about to take that dreaded plunge? On your way up you probably would have done just about anything to get yourself out of that chair or make it go back down gently in reverse. Then…whoooossh; you hit the top of the climb and rocketed down, loving every moment of the rest of the ride. Blindly introducing yourself to new people feels very similar. It’s scary not knowing how they will react or where the conversation will go. But there are three things you need to know about making blind introductions to strangers 1.) No matter what the outcome, you will feel better for having done it, 2.) If the conversation really goes that bad, then likely they were the jerk, not you, and 3.) It is absolutely imperative when you’re the new guy. Since I’ve been out here I’ve made it my job to strike up conversations with almost anyone. This has resulted in a lot of great friendships, and a few harmless duds. Of course the same applies to the dating scene. Just go for it – you’re new in town and the alternative is Netflix, right? You’ll be pleasantly surprised with the results.

Stay connected, but don’t look back – While this piece of advice may easily apply to your last relationship, I’m actually referring to the adjustment to your new surroundings. Outside of my family and friends, the three biggest things I miss about New York City are the people, the density, and the food. Filling the void for some of these things is beyond my control, but for other things it’s not. I’ve been able to satisfy my need for a good poppy-seed bagel by stopping by the N.Y. Bagel Deli each morning, and my roommate, also a NY transplant, finds a new bar each week to watch his beloved Yankees. It’s important for us to keep these connections. At the same time, we haven’t looked back. We’ve embraced L.A. for all the things that make it an amazing city – the beach, the weather, and Umami Burger to name a few. It’s important not to forget where you’re from, but more important to live in the moment and appreciate where you are – [at least that’s what my new yoga instructors tell me].

Get out there – My roommate often jokes that I should publish my own mobile app of the best places to go in L.A. The great thing about being in a new city is that it’s NEW. When you have the option to stay in or go out, go out! It’s the only way you will learn about your surroundings (hint: It’s also the best way to meet new people). I recommend getting on Yelp! – it has a great mobile app, and generally you can trust its ratings and recommendations. For years I’ve also been a heavy user of www.meetup.com. It too has a good mobile app, and its adoption has been widespread, meaning the groups you find won’t be full of creeps. If anything, they will be replete of fellow transplants also eager to make new connections. Exploring your new home also has its dating advantages. Keep an eye out for local spots that attract the type of crowd you’re looking for. As you generate your list of favorite places, bear in mind that these places may also be the best spots to share in the company of future dates. Generally the more comfortable I feel in a place, the better the date goes.

Each of these tricks all really boils down to making the effort. It’s scary being in a new place, but it can also be exhilarating. So enjoy it while it lasts. You won’t always be the newbie in town, which means you won’t always be able to use it as an excuse for your opening lines at the bar or online.